1. |
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It was dawn, it was dawn
And you observed my breath making its way into the winter river
Radio chitter chatter and the hail pitter patters
Just like when they knocked down our wooden door
Red glowing eyes, our friends in disguise
Pulling fire alarms, darling, these are times of war
But I know I can’t leave my little sibling behind
So I put out the dark thoughts that cross my mind
A lonely bottle of soju snores by my head
You never know when it’s time to make an offering to the dead
I’m sorry honey I feel a little out of my depths
But can you feel beyond yourself?
Do you remember what it’s like to be held?
Can you feel beyond yourself?
Do you remember what it’s like to be held?
There was a time I
Didn’t have to think, overcomplicate nor breathe in their poison
The northern star, whispers in the wind, lying down cloud gazing
Sticking and poking the hollow shells we had become
Seize the paint and the brushes, turn the streets into what we’ve always dreamed of
Can you feel beyond yourself?
Do you remember what it’s like to be held?
Can you feel beyond yourself?
I ask myself if you were ever held?
Now it’s dusk, now it’s dusk
And we evaporate into the fumes of kitchen sorcery
The shapes disappear but we’re always still here
And we live on in those memories
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2. |
Cheonsa
01:32
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I got away from your gaze
that asked me to fix you
but it's hard not to miss you
and all the sparkling parts of you
that draw me in
I've gotta say
I was procrastinating my own
inner healing
my focusing all my attention onto you
oh it's so fucking hard not to think about you
mhmmm
but I've been wrapped around an angel
her teeth so sharp, so bright
we walk past volcanic rock that serenade
us into a starry night
void of light pollution and full of orange trees
and we don't talk about no fixing
I just get to be focused on me
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3. |
even though we both know
00:48
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even though we both know that
your teeth were sinking into my keratin
I hear the chorus say
that was unforgivable
but I truly know
that I can't let go of my faith in the way
I haven't seen it all yet
but I feel you the most
I can't help but live on both sides
and your tenderness is a ghost
that is trying to reach you through me
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4. |
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My frozen fingers thaw around our steel stove
The snow on my boots melt into puddles of learning to release the tension
Can we make out on this old mattress?
Can we read out our favourite memories?
I know that we’re on the same side,
But are we on the same page?
Little bits of wood crawl under my skin
Feeling our yang and our yin,
feeling this connection’s medicine
Can we make out on this old mattress?
Can we read out our favourite memories?
I know that we’re on the same side,
But are we on the same page?
Every step down the icy trail of extreme danger and safety
taken with intention,
X2
sitting on spruce boughs and tobacco
singing along with the birds in the dark
we laugh by the melting candle
grateful but melancholic under the north star
Can we make out on this old mattress?
Can we read out our favourite memories?
I know that we’re on the same side,
But are we on the same page?
Every step down the icy trail of extreme danger and safety
taken with intention,
X2
set your intentions around the extremes of
Our fear and our care
Our love and our rage
Are we on the same page?
Can we make out on this old mattress?
Can we read out our favourite memories?
I know that we’re on the same side,
But are we on the same page?
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5. |
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everyone is out on the land
while I'm feeding the cats
and singing songs to the ghosts
everyone is out and about
while I'm reading the tao te ching
and day dreaming about
holding her hand
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6. |
fermenting
01:16
|
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I'm not stale
I'm fermenting
I'll taste even better
as we age
they'll share no words
cause most don't listen
to the sage
pushing zer way through debates
tightly sealed inside she'll stay
knowing to embrace the spices and the paste
I knew it was you when the flag was burning upside
I'd recognize those fumes from continents away
I feel your message in the clouds
I see it in the shapes
I'm not rotten I'm fermenting
I'll trade my thoughts for your understanding
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7. |
fruit flies
01:27
|
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Fruit flies on a thank you way overdue
Tear us apart and you’re left with the glue
Our last incarnation on planet earth
I tried to stay but I was left with more hurt
I got swept up by the wave and fought with every cell
I dragged myself out, holding onto every seashell
Bloody fingernails, crabs crawl through my hair
Can’t tell if this is real, but sirens tell me they were there
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8. |
gabrielle
03:28
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I sleep on wooden floors
And hide behind closet doors
You clipped my dragon wings feather by feather
Now I’m here stuck talking to your ghost
They thought I was talking to the wall
I guess they weren’t totally wrong
Cause even on the other side you don’t listen
Then one night the archangel came down and kissed my forehead
To deliver the news that even on the other side you were dead
Cause you’d turned into a bug
I always knew that it was you
who had been sucking my blood
My blood
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9. |
i might be stuck here
00:22
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I might be stuck here, but I’m not stuck
I’ll no longer believe that I was never enough
The more you take, the more I know that I’ve got
In the name of a nameless name we’ll know that we fought
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10. |
duvet cover
02:02
|
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And you don't seem to understand
A shame you seemed an honest man
And all the fears you hold so dear
Will turn to whisper in your ear
And you know what they say might hurt you
And you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing
I am falling, I am fading
I have lost it all
And you don't seem the lying kind
A shame that I can read your mind
And all the things that I read there
Candlelit smile that we both share
And you know I don't mean to hurt you
But you know that it means so much
And you don't even feel a thing
I am falling, I am fading, I am drowning
Help me to breathe
I am hurting, I have lost it all
I am losing
Help me to breathe
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11. |
how do we sew the gaps
01:30
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How do we sew the gap
Like the heart shaped patch
That covers your sweater logo
‘Cause I’m tripping on my laces
Searching for what connects us
In the dark
There was always a dissonance
Between the melodies in my mind
And the noises around me that wanted to drown me out
But I smile at the skunk on my midnight walk back home from work
While the neighbours cat brushes off my thoughts I overthought over and over and over
The prints of your art I hung up above the mattress on my floor watch over me
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12. |
i know that i'm gay
02:27
|
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I know that I'm gay when I see you
That's how I know that I'm gay, when we hold hands
I know that I'm gay
I know that I'm gay
I know that I'm gay
but I don't want to say it
don't wanna overstep
we just went through so much
this is not the time or place
to address it
but I feel like maybe you
feel that too
the giddy tickles
when we hold hands
as the cops come down to harass us
psychological warfare
it's a lot
it's so much
but I know that I'm gay
and I think everyone here knows it
that I'm gay for you
I'm gay for you
I'm not just gay
I'm gay for you
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13. |
i'm sitting this one out
00:40
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I'm sitting this one out
In the backseat of your disagreement
I'm dodging all your shouts
All we are are our memories
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14. |
lay there forever
01:11
|
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she fits inside my palms
gives me bird kisses
her eyelashes so long
I could fall into her feathers
and lay there forever
forever....
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15. |
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Sometimes I can't tell if you're coming or going
Till the fluorescent lights find the nape of your neck
Curled up in the shade of that bridge in El Paso
Run my hand through the sand and find a warm silver key
And you think about dogs back home holding roses
And a bed, and the brain that won't let you alone
Watch your chest rise and fall, tiny sobs by the highway
Where the days stretch out empty and the nights get so cold
Last summer I tried just to black out the pain
While the sunlight pulled chemical knives through my brain
I took the 73 to your slum up in Maple
Held the hand of a stranger just to give it away
Pull my knees to my chest, push my face to the floor
Throw the weight of your body at my bedroom door
I climb out of the window and stumble into the street
And just bury myself in the people I meet
Open mouths interlaced, who I am starts to blur
Fall asleep with our mutual destructions assured
A fist full of shrooms, drive my car up the coast
Don't know how long I've been gone but baby I'm coming home
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juniper.lee Vancouver, British Columbia
(they/them)
email: juniper.lee.music@gmail.com
Music made on
the unceded, ancestral and traditional territories of the xʷməθkʷəy̓əm (Musqueam), Səl̓ílwətaʔ (Tsleil-Waututh), and Skwxwú7mesh (Squamish) peoples
... more
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